Posted by: manyblessings | 02/25/09

Decisions

Our caseworker is coming tomorrow morning at 11 to conduct our first of three site and safety inspections. The next one will be performed by her immediate supervisor, and the third one will be performed by that person’s immediate supervisor.

In preparation for this we are filling out some of the final paperwork for our home study, including a five-page packet featuring criteria regarding the children we “will consider” or “will not consider” as foster children and/or adoptive children.

These decisions are very difficult. Do we feel able to handle a child who is blind? What about a child who has autism? We answered, “No,” to both of these, among others. As we proceeded through this packet, I found myself more and more self-conscious about these decisions. Do we have weak faith? Are we being self-centered? If we conceived this child, we would have no say over health problems, so why now?

We talked this over and agreed that while we cannot choose our biological children, we do know the needs of the children we already have right now and the responsibilities we have toward them… and at this point, when we have a say, we can say “We will consider” many other health restrictions and issues that are already known.

Part of the foster care process is not knowing a child’s past if they are removed from a home. Removal from a hospital takes away a lot of guesswork, but even then the mother’s prenatal care is often minimal, if existent. Yet the pieces we do know offer us a clue as to whether a child is right for our family *AND WHETHER OUR FAMILY IS RIGHT FOR A PARTICULAR CHILD*. That second part is really important for us to remember. A child who has these issues should be no less in need of a forever family who loves them for them as any other child.

Still, it does make me feel like a heel if I think about it for very long.

(On a humorous note, since we are taking children only as old as 2, it is funny to see criteria such as “gang involvement”…)

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